Try This At Home!

Well, dear readers, I haven't put anything up for a while. So, just to keep things rolling, I've decided to depart almost entirely from my usual format and pretend to be one of those food blogs you hear so much about. That being the case, here's a recipe of my own invention. Caveat: alcoholics and little children stand clear; the reason for this will be readily apparent.

Collin's Margarita Jello

Note: this recipe was inspired when Jello actually made a margarita-flavored variety. I don't think they do anymore, but this is very damned close.

Ingredients:

2 cups margarita mix (the kind you buy in a bottle)
1 cup of the cheapest tequila you can find (I paid nine dollars for a fifth.)
3 packages of lime jello (3oz per package)
2 packages of lemon jello (also 3oz per package)
Sea salt, coarsely ground (I recommend buying one of those salt-with-grinder-included things)

Directions:

1. Combine margarita mix and tequila in a saucepan; bring to a full boil.
2. While waiting, combine all 5 packages of Jello in a heat-resistant mixing bowl.
3. Pour boiling liquids into mixing bowl, very carefully.
4. Mix well.
5. When all of the Jello power is dissolved, pour mixture into a baking pan. The size of the pan really doesn't matter all that much, but I recommend a 9" by 13" for a good Jello thickness.
6. Mix the contents of the pan around to get rid of all the bubbles. If you don't, you'll have a gelatinous scum on your finished product. I recommend using a slotted wooden spoon for all your mixing.
7. Place pan in freezer, allow to freeze overnight. You could put it in the refrigerator, if you really want or need to.
8. Immediately before serving, grind a conservative amount of salt over the Jello. Be aware that the salt will disappear into the gelatin if you leave it for too long.
9. Slice and enjoy!

For a bit of further commentary, I would like to add that this recipe packs a punch. For those of fainter heart, it's okay to use a higher ratio of margarita mix to tequila. Do not use a smaller ratio. One third tequila is the maximum you can use and still have the gelatin set up properly when chilled.

Also, make sure to keep this Jello as cold as you can, circumstances permitting. It will begin to melt alarmingly in the heat. I generally keep most of the batch in the freezer (don't worry, it won't freeze with that much alcohol in it) and take out smaller portions to set on the food table or buffet.

And that's it, kids. I'm planning on experimenting with other libation-based Jellos, and you can too! Just remember that putting alcohol in Jello means you need more Jello packages to get it to turn jiggly.

Well, there's my food blog.

Bon appetit.