Of Churches and Cats

Well, this is a first. A few firsts, actually.

For one, this is the first time I'm writing my blog in OpenOffice Writer (yes, I use OpenOffice and you should too) rather than online on the Blogspot editor. This is because I do not have an internet connection. Which leads us to another first.

This is the first blog I've written in church. During an actual church service, no less.

Now, granted, it's not my church service. It is, however, my church building, and I've been tasked with making sure that the visiting/renting worshippers here behave themselves. Or something like that. I've never been quite clear on what we call “babysitting”. I've done babysitting for this church-group, Breath of Life, and I've done babysitting for Narcotics Anonymous that meets here, and aside from being on the premises, I don't know what are my other duties. Am I supposed to make sure they don't make a mess of the bathrooms, or start breaking up the furniture when the Spirit is really upon them? Prevent defilement of the altar or the Paschal Candle or the processional cross?

Your guess is as good as mine. Anyway, since there seems to be none of that bad stuff going on right now, I'm sitting in a quiet, dark room where I can see them but they can't see me, blogging away.

Now, the room I'm in is labelled “Library”, but what it really is is the “Cry Room”. In the Cry Room, parents who wish to remove themselves and their squalling offspring from the sanctuary (I am misusing this term; we'll get to that later) can enjoy a small room where they can see and hear the service by the expedient of cleverly arranged cinderblocks and a modest PA system.

Before, I was hanging out in the balcony, but the balcony is not sound-suppressed, so I, after due deliberation, chose the Cry Room. The balcony has a much better view of the proceedings, but having to be so quiet just isn't worth it.

I'm sure that at this point someone must be thinking... isn't is sacrilegious or blasphemous or at least disrespectful to blog in a church? After doing some light research, I have determined that I am not in fact in church proper.

Church architecture is really a fascinating subject, and in my brief study thereof, I have determined that our church, while lacking such finery as arcades, and having no architectural need of a transept, has more or less the same pieces as larger and fancier churches. And, having hunted through descriptions of narthexes and naves, and of chancels and sacristies and choirs and quires and sanctuaries, I have yet to find cry rooms and balconies listed as parts of churches.

So, I think I'm pretty safe from being struck by the lightnings of divine wrath.

Of course, I'm being pretty flip about it, so maybe I'm not all that safe after all.

But we soldier on, and if we soldier long enough, we may yet get to the real subject of this blog, which I have arbitrarily decided will be feral cats.

Now, some of you remember a while back when I made a mockery of the different colored ribbons which signified as many as a dozen causes apiece. I was especially derisive of the orange ribbon for feral cats, which seemed among the most ridiculous things I have ever heard.

Since that time, I have learned that there actually exist orange-ribbon people, and that they have formed orange-ribbon organizations, the better to put forth their orange-ribbon agenda.

I provide as evidence Alley Cat Allies, a fine example of such an organization. While other orange-ribbon feral-cat organizations are at least faintly committed to reducing the feral cat population, Alley Cat Allies seems to think that things are fine just the way they are.

Well, that's not quite true. You, yes you, should be taking decisive action to care for and protect the fragile rights of feral cats. If you visit their website, you will find excellent information on how to provide these misunderstood animals with food and shelter.

They call it “colony care”, I believe. Now, call me an alarmist, but a colony of feral cats in my near proximity scares the bejesus out of me. And the fact that there are people, my neighbors, in fact, who are taking steps to preserve and defend said colony... this fills me with a vague sense of dread.

I'm not going to be too harsh with the organization itself, really. Even though they advocate a trap and neuter program. Oh... what's that? They they trap cats, neuter them...and then just release them back into the wild! Of course, this is the only morally right thing to do... Alley Cat Allies also raises awareness that cats that end up in various sorts of animal-lockup facilities get euthanized.

Which is just atrocious, of course, because all feral (and let's not forget that “feral” means “wild”) animals, birds and squirrels and all of that ilk included, have a God-given right to die of cold and starvation in the winter, and of injuries from turf and mate disputes in the spring, and of predation just any old time.

That being said, I harbor no real ill will against feral cats. Yes, as previously stated, the notion of feral cat colonies that are supported by my friends and neighbors scares me nigh on to yesterday. But, in the words of our Lord and Savior, in the Holy Gospel according to St. Matthew...

“Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them.”

I suppose that applies to the cats of the yard as well.

Amen.

(After all, I am in a church. Sort of.)