Going To See Squid Squidley

Editor's note: This was originally posted on MySpace at 0729 on 7 February, 2007.


Well, this afternoon I get to take the first leg of my journey to the frozen wastes of Illinois. I will be going there to see my brother James, who is graduating from Navy boot camp at Great Lakes. For some reason, he decided to go to boot during the dead of winter; that's his business, of course, but really... it's not very considerate to drag Florida people up there in the middle of February.

My weather module reads 32 degrees Fahrenheit outside at the moment. Up there, at the moment, it's probably 32 below.

And that's not counting the windchill.

I am going to freeze. It is a little-known fact that the name "Illinois" is taken from the Native American "il - hoy`o - NO - ay'ist", which means "abode of the ice devil". Fortunately, I will not be freezing until tomorrow, because all I have to do today is go to Ocala and stand by to catch a plane from Orlando to Chicago tomorrow morning.

It's going to be a wild and crazy trip, dearly beloved, and I shall of course keep a running commentary going here, relating all the dumb stuff that happens in airports and the crazy guys on streetcorners and the latest innovations in baggage-trolleys.

It'll be like Wagner's Ring... my own little Rhine journey. To Illinois.

By the way, I lied. "Illinois" is not derived from "il - hoy`o - NO - ay'ist", meaning "abode of the ice devil". It is derived from "AY - o - lon - no - HOI'S", which translates roughly as "place where one's spittle hits the earth like a hailstone". You lose some shades of meaning in the translation.

So, I'll go ahead and sign off now. I'll be flying and driving and missing my girl and missing my cat and eating regular, well-balanced meals under the watchful eye of Mommy Dearest. Updates to follow... tune in tomorrow, same Bat-time, same Bat-station.

One more thing... I lied again about the name "Illinois". It's actually not from a native dialect at all. It's from the Welsh "rwlhinn-owris", meaning "witch's [mammary protuberance]".

My search for the giant squid continues...